Stuff "The Girl" Says - great quotes from my two year old

My daughter says the funniest things. I know you probably think I am biased but I am not alone. Ever since she spoke her first “Buh Bah,” a noise she used to engage others in conversation before she had words, she was delighting people around her. When she got bigger and started to communicate with us she would say "buh bah" all the time... long after she knew other words a musical sounding "buh bah" would usually begin the communication. It was as if she was saying, "Listen up, I'm going to say something now!"

By the time she was two I was cracking up on a nearly daily basis at some of the hilarious things she would say. I shared many of these in my facebook status and have done my best to keep a record of them. I thought it would be fun to collect some of the funniest from when she was two. (If this is well received I'll continue with a series!) Note: To limit my daughter's web footprint I replaced her name with "Sweets" in these quotes. I also refer to her as "The Girl" but otherwise the quotes are exactly as she said them. Please enjoy!

"You're not a person! You're a mommy."

On his way out the door daddy said, "Goodbye everybody!" The girl replied, "Goodbye onebody!"

"Will I learn my superpowers at Bal-la-lay school?"

The manager stopped by our table and asked how our meal was... Hubbie and I replied, "good, fine." The Girl said, "Actually we wanted more butter!" LOL she was totally right!

"I'm going to kid work, not boy work like Daddy" What is your work Sweets? "To be cute and funny."

"This is my job" The Girl says as she smears oatmeal on the table. I thought your job was to be cute and funny? "That was that day, this is this day."

The Girl on autographing her art work, "I draw my name with lines. When I bigger I will use letters and maybe numbers."

"I put milk in my playdoh. I think that was a bad idea mommy."

Sweets, why is there milk all over the table? "Dolly did it." Really? Dolly spilled that milk? "No, probably Sweets."

Stop eating the sand please. "Mommy, I do it every day."

Where did you get those eyes pretty girl? "At the grocery store." When pressed for more information she changed her answer to "Probably Daddy."

When we opened up her window The Girl said, "Oooh, the cold air feels delicious!"

"That was some pretty high air!" The Girl said in response to being held above daddy's shoulders.

"Mommy, it's pretty toasty outside." (97 degrees -- no doubt about it!)

"I am being a good girl today. I only spilled a little bit." (Spill should be defined as tossing liberally around the room however)

Big Crash heard in other room followed by, "Don't worry mommy I Just sneaked into the playdoh."

"I can't carry my Daddy. He like really Giant. He can touch the trees."

A very agry outcry comes from the bathroom where The Girl is measuring."Three halfs is all over me! Three halfs is too much!"

"This is going to be good" heard as my Lady Bug left with dad to trick or treat!

"Let's not have puper (computer) day. Let's have Thanksgiving day today!"

"Happy Thanksgiving!" some time passes... "Is that like everybody's birthday?"

The Girl's take on the mall Santa. "That guy isn't MY FRIEND Santa!"

As my husband and I were toasting to the New Year, Sweets interjected, "Happy New Years guys! I love you very so much!"

When it comes time to sing Happy Birthday Jessie is probably at her happiest because it is time to "Wish for Cake." As we have gone along this party season I have explained to Jessie that after the candle is blown out a wish can be made so when it came time for her birthday I asked "What are you going to wish for Jessie?" She replied with a very simple "CAKE." I thought that was some pretty good wishing since it is likely to come true but as time goes by I realize it is an integral part of the experience for her. We were watching Peter blow out his candles and Jessie shouted, "Wish for Cake!" and then when it was Samuel's turn she whispered to me, "I think he is wishing for cake!"

The Girl at Ellie's Birthday Party. "What are we waiting for? Where is the cake?"

On the way home from Ellie's Party. "Mommy there was no cake. You said there would be cake." Sweets you had two cupcakes! "Cupcakes aren't cake, I wanted cake!"

"Mommy, you are my very veryest friend!"

"Play this game momma! Put this on your eyes (lid to small watering can), look through here (hole in top). See me and you be so happy!" LOL a good game indeed... I certainly was SO HAPPY!

Meeting a new neighbor. "Hi! I "Sweets", I have two sweeties at my house." (LOL Hubby and I refer to each other as sweetie all the time!)

After I stepped on The Girl's sunglasses. "You don't have to be sorry mommy. It was just a on accident."

What we doing here?" Mommy is getting a flu shot. "NO!!! I don't want them to shoot mommy!"

"I need to tell you this mommy. I love you so much!"

OK Sweets pick three books tonight. "I want 4, no 5. I want 5 books." Sorry Sweets, 3 it is. "No mommy 100 books, I need 100 books." ... Go get 3 books Sweets. "I can't carry 100 books. How about 5?"

"Help me build this? Come on mommy, you build great towders!" (Can't refuse an invitation like that!)

Call from other room, "Mommy I needja." When I arrive in her room, "May you clean my room? It is pretty messy for me." I told her I would help if she did too. She told me, "maybe later!"

"Mommy are you laying down? It daylight, come on!"

"You want to do this with me?... SAY YES!!

While walking around our new neighborhood The Girl noticed some nice looking toys in a front yard. "If I talk nicely to those people they share those toys with me amorrow. That how it work mommy?"

"That is not my point" What is your point Sweets? "To say what I want and to do it."

Would you like to get dressed now? "No, thanks. I pretty busy right now."

"Come on guys, follow me! It time for dancing!"

After pounding the keys and drawing on my computer with a crayon, Sweets says, "I'm sorry I didn't do it the way you wanted. I promise I will play nicely, for a little while."

OK Sweets pick 4 books to read tonight. "How about five?" No four. "OK you read 4, Daddy read 4 and I read 4 -- that how it works!"

Heard from the bathtub "Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the Fishy and Sweets show!" ... songs followed!

I notice her carrying her small stuffed monkey toward the door. Where are you going Sweets? "I take my monkey to the airport." Why is he going to the airport? "I take him back to his tree. He want to go home."

Where are you going Sweets? "I take my monkey to the airport." Why is he going to the airport? "I take him back to his tree. He want to go home."

"I have a problem mommy. I only have one hippo and he needs friends for his wallow (blanket serving as wallow in living room) -- maybe we get some more hippos a morrow?"

"I don't like ghosts. They scary. I like spiders. I no like spider webs."

"Amember, we don't eat playdoh Minnie."

After working on making a Hippo with bendaroos (wax covered strings, fun for building) to little success, Sweets said, "I am making "fossai", they are a new animal and I can do it."

"Amember I am a princess mommy!"

"We need to buy more money mommy"

"Mommy are you teaching me to be a big girl?" Yes Sweets. "Good. I want to drive the truck." (Dad's F150 I guess!

"Lets play hockey mommy." You want to play hockey? How do you play that game Sweets? "Take this feather and blow really really hard, then push it down this hole." (Gosh too bad the NHL hasn't tried out these rules... could be very entertaining!)

A Sweet's song of the day,"Old MacDonald had a mommy. A don't eat that here and a don't eat that there, a don't eat that everywhere!" [It should be noted here that when ever she is asked, "What does mommy say?" she will reply, "Don't eat that!" Given she ate sand at the playground nearly everyday for a year I feel some what justified!]

The Girl on Hawaii -- "Our-awaii is nice mommy. Everyone gets an ocean!"

Donning her purple cape, "I super Sweets now!" (She did use her real name!

"I like baby Alexa's Nana. Can we buy me a Nana?"

"This house is really full mommy. Amember that time it was empty?" (recalling the walk through after we bought it I guess!!

"What is that fancy cherry's name? Mommy HELP!!! I LOST THE NAME of that fancy cherry!" (She was looking for maraschino cherry)

"Mommy do you want some priva-seat?" This is contrasted to privacy and means toddler will accompany any time you enter the bathroom. "Yay we having priva-seat mommy!" Yep, plenty of priva-seat and no privacy in my house!

"Thank you mommy for letting me help you fold laundry."

"Let's ask Giada (food Network) if we can go to her house amorrow."

A squeal of delight! "Look mommy we have fairy dust at our house!" I find The Girl blowing dust off the shutters into the sunlight. (I definitely feel better about not dusting now!)

I asked The Girl what she wants for lunch. She replied, "I the mystery guest today. Can we have cake?

(Looking for thank you) The Girl was asked what are the magic words? She replied, "Hocus Pocus!"

"When Daddy get little the mote (remote) be mine."

Would you like some food? "Not really, I'll let you know."

Do you want to go outside Sweets? "Not now, we'll see how the day goes."

What are you doing Sweets? "Elax (relax) mommy, I in my room!"

"You ate all your broccoli -- Good job Mommy"

"I want to snuggle with you mommy!" -- does it get any better then that????